This is just a short, though hopefully still funny, fic I whipped up at the last minute as I thought about Penelo, who is certainly one of the cutest yet least fleshed-out characters in the Final Fantasy XII universe. And so, in a fit of madness, I decided to try and make her as much of a real person as much as possible... and this little bit of fluff and madness resulted. Don't ask me why, people... it's the result of my unconsciousness and you know how little control I exert over that part of my anatomy. ;) There may be a chapter for Larsa or Vaan appearing soon... but I can make no promises now!

This is especially dedicated to naviechance, because her Penelo still rocks my socks off months after the fact. Here's to a bit of mid-January cheer, everyone!

Title: 20 Spells Cast From a Still Untested Staff
Fandom: Final Fantasy XII
Series: The Uses of Enchantment
Pairings: Hints at Penelo X Vaan and Penelo X Larsa
Rating: PG
Summary: She once killed a man in Rabanastre, just to watch him die... A list of 20 random things that Penelo has said and done by the middle of her first world changing adventure.

Penelo:

1. Has always thought that all the princess in the fairy tales she heard as a child were hopelessly stupid. She had grown up wanting to be all their fairy guardians instead. At least they kicked some righteous ass on occasion, instead of standing around waiting for some ridiculously perfect prince to come save them.

2. Somehow grew up to be a damsel in distress herself somewhere down the line, much to her own consternation. Though at least her knight-in-shining armor turned out to be much cuter than she ever thought possible.

3. Is both in awe of and terrified by Lady Ashe, mostly because she seems as though she would not hesitate to stick her sword right through someone’s eye if they squinted at her hard enough.

4. Likes fire. Likes it a lot. To the point where Vaan still freaks out when he sees a case of matches around her.

(And to think-- everyone thought she was always the responsible one.)

5. Is a lot tougher than she looks. Even though she’s barely 5 bloody feet in height and still prays nightly for a growth spurt.

6. Knows that she’s not going to be the leading lady of the current story and is already reconciled to the fact. There’s time enough for all that later, after all.

7. Mostly resented her brother (who almost single-handedly raised her) when he was alive and desperately misses him now.

8. Is best friends with the most witless, tactless and hopeless twit in all of Ivalice, despite her own good sense. And loves him more than anything else still existing on this earth.

9. Actually enjoys shaking her (literal) money maker at the Muthru Bazaar. It keeps her in shape and gets her better tips than being a shop girl ever could.

Besides, dealing with all the perverts who think that they’re entitled to pinch her squishy parts because they had too much to drink really honed her right hook.

10. Already has pinged onto the fact that her new friend, Lord Larsa, might like her more than any of his rod-up-the-rear advisors would like.

(Though of course, the fact that he keeps falling to one knee and pledging to be her protector as long as she needs one was a bit of a give away. Even Vaan had noticed that, for the love of Occuria.)

11. And secretly gloats juuuust a little bit about it, even if it is only a crush that’ll fade in time. After all, not every girl can boast a son of an emperor as an admirer… even if he was a bit pint-sized right now.

12. Once killed a man in Rabanastre, just to watch him die.

(All right, not really, but the jerk had been asking for a come-uppance after stealing money from the local orphan’s charity pot. And having to dodge the wave of guards trying to figure our who sent out that fire spell that burnt off his eyebrows was pretty funny at the time.)

13. Always gives money to that weird little kid that asks for one gil to recite a bit of local history. She knows what it’s like to be young and hungry, after all.

14. Talked back to her Bangaa kidnappers mostly because she figured that if she was going to die, she might as well go out with a bang. Possibly, this was due to the fact that she had been friends with Vaan for far too long. She was young and innocent and it wasn’t her fault.

15. Lied in that last part. In the end, she had chosen to do just what she wanted to. And no orphan of Dalmasca stays innocent for long.

16. Never thought she’d be saved by a prince with pretty hair, silly tights and boots with alarmingly high heels.

But then, Larsa always was an early bloomer.

17. Secretly is fond of the idea of one day being a sky pirate, if only because it would help keep Vaan out of trouble. He couldn’t find his arse with an atlas and has no idea of what to do in a bazaar. Left to his own devices, even if he could locate treasure in the first place, he’d barely be able to make adventuring pay off afterwards.

18. Rather enjoys her self-appointed role as her party’s medic and is already experimenting with creating a powerful, potentially ground-breaking piece of magic that would automatically bring a person back from the brink of unconsciousness. If nothing else, it would make her occasional-- and very ill advised, not that that ever stopped them!-- drinking contests with Vaan that much more fun.

19. Often wonders why Archadians seem to hold onto some obscure hierarchy of frilliness (their current emperor looks like he’s wearing a ruffled bathrobe, for god’s sake) and if Vayne ultimately turned evil because he didn’t get to dress like a cream puff as a child.

(Thankfully, this was certainly not a mistake being made with Larsa. Which is good, since the idea of a Larsa gone mad, bad and dangerous to know seriously makes pain radiate out between her eyes.)

20. Really, really, really likes the idea of one day saving the world.

(Which is even better because at this rate, if her little party doesn't end up dying some hideously ironic death at the hands of nethicite-crazed villains, that was just what might end up happening after all.)

---

Bonus: Just because so many people liked it so much... cream-puff!Vayne is at your service at last.



Try not to let him hurt you too much. XD